If you touch my adult beverage...you WILL pull back a nub!

I am hungry and I am irritable.  The end.

I went to my WW meeting tonight and lost another 1.4 lbs.  Yee-Haw.  Zippity do da.  I am not ungrateful for the loss; however, I am so hungry....I feel like I should have lost 40 lbs and then we could have called it a day.
At my meeting, the topic was your favorite foods to eat.  The WW leader said what are some of your all time favorite foods to eat, even if they are horrible for you.  Mr. Sitting in the Front Row who lost over six pounds this week even after being on vacation in Florida raises his hand and says salmon, blueberries, and strawberries.  The rest of us were saying pasta, pizza, fried chicken, loaves of bread, and anything cooked in Crisco.  This guy made the rest of us look like Miss Piggy and when I left, my foul mood from lack of food had only gotten worse thanks to this guy who I am convinced was an alien from another planet.  I wanted to kidnap him and take him to Arnold's in Nashville on 8th Avenue or Kleer-Vu in Murfreesboro and let him taste food that is cooked with every kind of lard imaginable and then ask him if he still prefers strawberries and blueberries.  Moron.

I have this weekend off from work, thank the Lord!  I may go loco if I have to hear one more lady call and complain because her latex balloons did not last 3-4 days despite our signs that guarantee latex for 8-10 hours.  Clearly, she knows better than we do...
After work tomorrow, I am going straight to Portland for a Pinterest Craft Party with several old friends and new ones.  I cannot wait! It's BYOB and bring a dish.  I will be picking up a bottle of SkinnyGirl from the liquor store on my way there.  The liquor store next to the PC carries the SkinnyGirl margaritas, white cranberry cosmos, white wine, and rose wine.  It is nearly impossible to try to figure out the WW points for alcohol.  Tomorrow night, I am choosing to go with a lady online whose calculations lead her to believe and insist that the WHOLE bottle of SkinnyGirl Margarita is only 3 points.  Ignorance is bliss is my motto for tomorrow. For my dish, I am bringing the best cupcakes in the whole wide world.  I have made them five million times since I first had them while I was student teaching, thus this WW gig.   My cooperating teacher made them and they are SuperMoist white cupcakes with lemon icing.  The mix is made with egg whites instead of whole eggs and they are heavenly!  So moist and the lemon icing makes them taste just like summer. Speaking of my cooperating teacher, I am going to miss her and all of her "Oceans" friends so much when I start at my new school in the fall.  I don't know what I am going to do without them everyday, keeping it real and making me laugh in the hall in between classes. Shout out to the ladies in the C hall!


 Update on Fifty Shades.  There is no update.  I have not turned on my Sony Reader once to read it since my last post.

Finally, not only am I irritated by lack of food, but this picture taken from my own bathroom DEFINITELY does not help matters.

This is a regular occurrence at my household.  No one (besides me) can seem to take off the old roll and put the new roll on.  This occurs with all paper products from toilet paper to paper towels.  Ridiculous.  If this continues, I assure you that I will be on the new season of Snapped. 

I have a confession to make....

I have a heroine problem!  A major one.  A couple of months ago while sharing my favorite books, movies, tv shows, etc with my friend (and mentor teacher) I discovered this about myself.  Let me explain further....

Bella from all of the Twilight books









Gag!  I couldn't stand her indecisiveness in the books and to be honest, her adoration for Edward.  I cannot stomach all the lovey-dovey stuff.  Watching the movies made me despise her character even more because I felt as though all I did was watch close ups of Kristen Stewart making the same blank face over and over and over again.  Mr. D's idea of watching a new release movie includes watching the illegally copied version that he bought from a friend of his (no doubt from the trunk of said friend's car) complete with babies crying  and people coughing in the theatre during these "excellent" copies, all in the comforts of your own home.  If you have no clue what I am talking about, let me tell you....you are missing out.  Therefore, it is a real treat when I can actually go to the theatre and watch a movie.  So, on the occasion of this rare treat, I DO NOT want to pay money to watch closeups of someone's facial expressions that NEVER change!

Okay, moving on.
Another example.....Katniss from Hunger Games







I loved the books more than life itself, but if I am being honest, Katniss got on my nerves MAJORLY with all the Peeta and Gale business.  Another example of indecisiveness.  Now, I have been indecisive before in my life, but I guess I have a problem with the indecisive behavior of females in literature.  Or maybe not with indecisiveness, but with what I view as wishy-washiness.

Continuing on.....
Sookie from True Blood





Drives me INSANE!  I cannot deal with her at all, and let's be honest....I watch PURELY for the men on the show.  Period.







And....Carrie from Sex and the City

 

Let's face it...I never forgave her for choosing Mr. Big instead of Aidan.  Bottom Line.

The point of this post is this....


I am currently reading book two.  I read book one in one day.  I thought it was hot and exciting.  I liked the bad boy in Mr. Grey.  Therefore, I couldn't wait to start book two.  With that being said, after beginning to read the second book, it has been a daily struggle for me to make myself continue to pick it up on a daily basis.  The steamy scenes make me yawn....same ole song and dance.  Plus, E L James committed my cardinal sin.....she added the lovey-dovey stuff and I want to puke daily.  There is only so much, "I love yous" and "You're so beautiful" that this girl can read without losing her lunch....and let's be honest here, since I'm on this Weight Watchers thing, I am desperate to keep down the little amount of food that I am allowed in a given day.  I also like a little bit of realism in my literature, and the fact that EVERY physical encounter that happens in the book results in the big "O" and of course, Ana and Christian almost always have their climaxing moments at the same time.  I mean give me a break.  Ana often is pushed to this "moment" just by having Christian mention her name.  No joke.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Mr. D, but I don't care how many times he may or may not say my name (first, middle, maiden, or last) it just plain is not going to happen from the mere sound of his voice stating the obvious.  Rather, I think that I would respond with "What?" instead of the explosion that Ana has throughout the book.  So, yet another problem with a female in literature.  I am going to continue to push through and finish this book, and trilogy for that matter, even if it takes me all summer.  Not because I am interested at this point, but because I am too stubborn and hard headed to quit.

Any advice for the heroine problem?  Is it possible to dislike women, when I am one?  Ha!

Guilty as charged....

So, I'm down 5.2 lbs this week.  To celebrate, I went to Chuy's and ate so much creamy jalapeno dip that I should have just asked for a straw.  For real.
 
Now, I feel guilty as hell and will go to the gym in the morning before work and torture myself until all of said guilt and creamy jalapeno dip is dripping out of my pores in the form of sweat.  Oh, the life of a woman. Men don't feel guilt about food or punish themselves with painful exercising.  They also have NEVER laid down on the bed to button a pair of jeans, squeezed their piggies into a pair of fabulous shoes that may be a size too small, or had hair ripped out by the root from their legs, hoo-ha, and various places on the face, chin, and neck depending on where random hairs may pop up due to one's hormonal state at any given moment.  They proudly walk around with their beer bellies poking out and it doesn't bother them one bit that many of them have not seen their "special friend" in decades.  The proper term for this is "dickdo."  Look it up in the urban dictionary and consider yourself educated.

Speaking of guilty pleasures.....Sunday is the season premiere of one of my favs:




Have Mercy!!!!

True Blood starts back this Sunday and I cannot wait!!!  I don't even care if the story line sucks...I just watch for the eye candy, because basically it's the only candy I can have these days. Eric Northman is SO bad, and since I am partial to the bad ones....I double heart love everything about him.
Speaking of bad boys...Mr. D is cheap.  He does not generally like to spend money.  This comes from his "bad boy" upbringing, which consisted of eating what he considers a delicacy, refried bean sandwiches on white bread.  No joke.  Anyway, if Mr. D gets a bug up his rear before Sunday and decides that he no longer wants to shell out $10.00 extra a month for HBO and cancels it, I will go Lorena Bobbit on him....it's that serious!

Baby Talk....

So, the last 48 hours have been full of fun for all.
Yesterday at the PC, we caught a shoplifter who was stealing this


AND this







FOR REAL. Seriously? It's about $14.00 worth of merchandise. And....at the PC we don't take kindly to shoplifters, so we pretty much tackle them before they can leave.  I kid. Kinda.
Long story short, I was able to recover most of the stolen merchandise.  However, when kindly grabbing for her purse to recover said merchandise, I ripped the handle off the worst knockoff bag that I've ever seen.  So, I figure we are even.  She tried to get away with $14.00 of my merchandise and I broke her purse which was worth approximately the same amount.  Just a public service announcement:  If you call Metro 911, you will get officers about 30 minutes later, and they will go to the Target next door instead of the location of the crime.  True story.

Needless to say, today I had a much deserved day off after yesterday's drama.   I went for a 2 mile power walk with my mother followed by pool time and lunch at my favorite place ever, Chick Fil A.  I got a little color, which is a success because it officially takes me out of the vampire category.  Not so much of a success was the "baby talk" that I had with my mother while power walking.  I should have just shut my mouth and concentrated on trying to breathe while finishing the first mile.  I am a recent ex-smoker, so give me a break...I'm not thinking clearly. Anyway, I brought up that Mr. D and I were currently planning our last big vacation for next summer before we try to start having a baby.  With the first year of my big girl teaching job starting this fall, I did not think that it was smart to try to also have my first child during what I am sure will be an often overwhelming time in my life.  I mentioned this to my mother, as well as wanting to relax next summer after my first year and that I would like that summer to be full of nothing but relaxing and enjoying doing nothing for a couple of months, and not full of sleepless nights, diaper changing, and toddler chasing.  I just want to fully enjoy next summer in that way.  I know that after I have a baby, I will enjoy things in a completely different way, but I also know that after having a baby, I will not have the silence that I so treasure for at least another 18 years.  My mother is desperate for her first grandchild and did not take kindly to this info.  She said:
"Well what the heck, why don't you just go ahead and wait until you're in your mid forties to have a baby!" (I am currently 36). 
and when I told her about wanting to have next summer to unwind after my first year, she said "Do you know the definition of 'sacrifice'?" (Of which I SO wanted to say, "No mother, actually I have no idea what the definition is....can you believe I am going to become an English teacher when I have such a LIMITED vocabulary!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  But.... I didn't say anything because I am an angel sent straight down from the Lord above.
If there has EVER been a day when I have EARNED a cigarette AND a hot fudge sundae from Sonic, it was today.  I had neither.  The  "good" Mrs. D on my right shoulder said that having neither means that I am going to live a long life as a skinny person.   I slapped that thing off my shoulder like it was a mosquito.

So, question.........Is wanting to have one last child free summer selfish of me?