Sunday, August 12, 2012

It's been a minute...

So, I haven't been blogging for a minute.  But....I'm back.

Things got super overwhelming with the start of my big girl job and all that it entails. 
Friday was my first full day of teaching, and it was jeans day.  I didn't want to remember my first day EVER as the day I wore jeans, so I wore a fabulous new outfit with super high summer wedges.  I felt good, and I think that it helped me to have confidence in my classroom....because, let's be honest.....you can NEVER let those kids see you sweat.  EVER.
Speaking of kids, I have decided that teaching middle school and 9th and 10th graders is not unlike The Hunger Games.  I swear, at the beginning of class I can actually hear "May the odds be EVER in your favor" ringing in my ears.  They'll eat you alive if they smell a weakness, so I'm trying to be as weakness free as possible.

This weekend, Mr D. and I celebrated our one year anniversary since he will be working this week on the actual night of our anniversary. Yesterday, we went to Cheekwood to see the literature treehouses and intended to have breakfast/lunch/dinner at Loveless Cafe.  We get to Loveless around 11:30 and they told us that it would be a 2 1/2 hour wait in which I replied okay.  Mr D. however went all "Antioch" on them and said something to the effect of "Aww...hell no!!!" and we left. Classy.

It is glaringly apparent that Mr D. was born in Oregon and not down here in the South, or otherwise he would have known that one can wait ALL day for good, homemade biscuits and preserves.  Dang Northerner! 

Friday, July 13, 2012

My Summer Mantra.....

I'm not normally a country music lover, but this song reminds me of a time when I was young and carefree, hanging out with my girlfriends.  You know, when summer was actually fun and not filled with working at the damn PC.  Back before we were grownups when who cared if we paid the bills, just as long as we had a good time. 
Cheers to those days!


Saturday, July 7, 2012

All time low...

First, let me say that tonight was Taco Night and Taco Night is my ALL TIME weakness. 

Let me begin this quick story by telling you that after work today, I went to the gym.  I came home in my sports bra/workout tank thingy that looks very similar to this



because it was sweltering outside.  I was then informed that it was Taco Night.  This provided a great amount of anxiety for me, since I'm on WW and all and Taco Night being such a HUGE weakness...so to decrease said anxiety....I drank half a bottle of SkinnyGirl White Cranberry Cosmo.
After preparing my fourth (YES...the number after THREE) taco, I was walking towards the table and the taco slipped almost completely off my place and half of it broke off (complete with meat and cheese) inside of my sports bra.  So....I did what ANY sane person would do....I ate it right out of my sports bra thingy.  Literally, picked it out piece by piece and ate it.  Not wanting to waste a single morsel.  The hunger from being on WW is obviously starting to make me lose my mind.  The proof is in the story above.  The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem.  Consider yourself informed. 

Friday, July 6, 2012

It's all about the benjamins, baby......

Okay...well, maybe not benjamins...I guess more like washingtons.  Bottom line is...I got paid.  So, my funk is official O-V-E-R!  Hallelujah, praise the Lord.
Sad to say, but having a little bit of change in my pocket makes me in a MUCH better mood.  Today was my day off, so I got up early and headed to the mall to shop for Mr. D's upcoming birthday.  However, I got a little sidetracked while I was there.
I was feeling so crappy about myself because I've been doing nothing but working PLUS I've been broke, and we all know that women need beauty maintenance and without it a little funk can turn into a jump off the roof situation.  So, my eyebrows had not been done since I finished student teaching, so I treated myself to my first eyebrow threading.  Let me tell you....I will NEVER go back to waxing.  My eyebrows look amazing and it was super quick and to be honest, not as painful as I thought it was going to be.   Here's a video if you wanna see the threading process in action.

It was only $12 to get it done, which is about the same as waxing.....so you have to try it.  Hell, they can even thread your WHOLE FACE.  Which I am sure that the lady would have loved to recommend for me if she could have spoken any English, but I didn't have THAT kind of time and I'm sure neither did she.

Moving on....I then took a little visit to White House Black Market which is one of my favs, but usually not a fav of my budget or lack thereof.  I had been eyeing a certain top for the past six weeks, no joke.  The said top was on clearance, but still WAY higher than what any sane person would spend on a shirt.  Good thing I wasn't feeling very sane.  I bought it because it's all I have been obsessed with for the past six weeks, plus I lost 2.4 lbs this week at WW so it's my "push" present.  You see, I have friends who have husbands who buy them extravagant "push" presents when they have babies.  I guess it's a gift for actually pushing the thing out instead of deciding to hold it in????  Heck, I don't know.  Anyway, I bought this blouse for myself as a "push" present.....a reminder for me to continue to "push" my plate away from my face.
I will be putting this blouse in the back of my closet and when I wear it and my husband asks me when I got a new shirt....I will act as if he has offended me and swear up and down that I have had the blouse FOREVER and have worn it often, and that if he ever paid attention to me, he would know that the shirt was not new.  AND I will tell this lie with style and grace while looking fabulous in my new "push" present and will bow as I accept my Oscar. 

I also ordered my first official lesson planner for the school year from http://www.erincondren.com
Check her out....the stuff is SO cute. 

I got sucked into Books a Million on my way home and came out with three books, which I hope to read before schools starts.  I do have books at home to read....the second Fifty Shades book and a friend of mine let me borrow all of the Outlander series.  I've lost interest in Mr. Grey and I can't seem to get into the Outlander series despite desperately wanting to like them. Anyway, I bought The Hobbit, The House on Mango Street, and The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake.  I figured that since I am a Language Arts/Reading/English teacher, I should have read those first two....but I haven't.  I went into Books a Million to buy Gone Girl, but they were sold out.  So, instead of walking my happy butt back to my car....I stayed and bought those books.  Story of my life today.

Oh, and did I mention that I went to the tanning bed.  I mean, a girls gotta feel good about herself and the Casper look does not look good on this gal.  

In case you're wondering....I did buy Mr. D TONS of birthday presents, which hopefully will help him to forget that I have driven my car WAY over the required mileage for the next oil change in 5 million degree weather.

The moral to this post is that I just got paid and now I am almost broke again, but I sure did enjoy myself today immensely.  Warning....another funk is sure to be on the horizon as soon as I come to terms with how much money I now do not have.




Wednesday, July 4, 2012

I wanna take you to....funkytown

I'm in a major funk.  I've got no interesting stories because lately I haven't had much of a life.  I have done nothing but work at the PC day in and day out and try not to lose my mind...which is a full time job itself, let me tell you.  When I don't have time to do anything but work, I tend to get into a MAJOR funk.  So, here we are. 

So, in an effort not to spread my current negative mood....I am sharing some Pinterest crafting projects that I've done for our new casa.  Some of my pics aren't the best quality, but you'll get the gist of it.


This lovely project is in our office.  I wanted a poster or canvas of some of my favorite books with the quotes from each that I adored.  I found several posters at Teachers Discovery, but thought that surely I could make something cheaper.  Here it is.  A canvas of my favorite books  with the quotes from each that speak to me in some way or another.  All I did was print off the cover of the books from online, type up my favorite quotes from each book, and modge podge them onto a blank canvas. Easiest craft ever and saved myself a TON of money!

Saw this idea on Pinterest.  A cute way to dress up your thermostat.  Mr. D didn't understand it, but he's a man, so....

This is a horrible pic, but it was even more horrible without the flash.  Basically, I took a frame that I liked and put scrapbook paper behind the glass.  I then got a key made to our new home, painted it a tiffany blue, and mounted it on the scrapbook paper behind the glass.  Viola!  The key to our first house together in a beautiful frame. 


I confess, I'm a doily kinda gal.  I love them.  Period.  If that makes me an old lady, then so be it.  I painted several paper doilies to match my half bathroom and then modged podged them to a blank canvas.  Mr. D told me that he is not a doily kinda man, but since I'm in charge, the doily art stayed. Ha!

And finally, my favorite craft......

My mom bought us this GORGEOUS antique frame for a housewarming gift.  I bought the letters to our first names and the letter to our last name, wrapped them in yarn to match our bedroom, and hung them inside the frame.  It's definitely the focal point in the bedroom, and I double heart love it....despite the fact that the yarn wrapping part was a TOTAL pain in the hiney.

So, there  ya go folks...a little look into some of my completed crafts.

On another quick note, Kathy on the Real Housewives of New Jersey said something FREAKIN BRILLIANT on the last episode.  She said, "Sometimes the pride becomes bigger than the fight."  This is all TOO TRUE of a particular fight going on in my own family.  Perhaps the Jersey housewives can teach some of us stubborn Southern families a thing or two...... Just sayin.


Thursday, June 21, 2012

If you touch my adult beverage...you WILL pull back a nub!

I am hungry and I am irritable.  The end.

I went to my WW meeting tonight and lost another 1.4 lbs.  Yee-Haw.  Zippity do da.  I am not ungrateful for the loss; however, I am so hungry....I feel like I should have lost 40 lbs and then we could have called it a day.
At my meeting, the topic was your favorite foods to eat.  The WW leader said what are some of your all time favorite foods to eat, even if they are horrible for you.  Mr. Sitting in the Front Row who lost over six pounds this week even after being on vacation in Florida raises his hand and says salmon, blueberries, and strawberries.  The rest of us were saying pasta, pizza, fried chicken, loaves of bread, and anything cooked in Crisco.  This guy made the rest of us look like Miss Piggy and when I left, my foul mood from lack of food had only gotten worse thanks to this guy who I am convinced was an alien from another planet.  I wanted to kidnap him and take him to Arnold's in Nashville on 8th Avenue or Kleer-Vu in Murfreesboro and let him taste food that is cooked with every kind of lard imaginable and then ask him if he still prefers strawberries and blueberries.  Moron.

I have this weekend off from work, thank the Lord!  I may go loco if I have to hear one more lady call and complain because her latex balloons did not last 3-4 days despite our signs that guarantee latex for 8-10 hours.  Clearly, she knows better than we do...
After work tomorrow, I am going straight to Portland for a Pinterest Craft Party with several old friends and new ones.  I cannot wait! It's BYOB and bring a dish.  I will be picking up a bottle of SkinnyGirl from the liquor store on my way there.  The liquor store next to the PC carries the SkinnyGirl margaritas, white cranberry cosmos, white wine, and rose wine.  It is nearly impossible to try to figure out the WW points for alcohol.  Tomorrow night, I am choosing to go with a lady online whose calculations lead her to believe and insist that the WHOLE bottle of SkinnyGirl Margarita is only 3 points.  Ignorance is bliss is my motto for tomorrow. For my dish, I am bringing the best cupcakes in the whole wide world.  I have made them five million times since I first had them while I was student teaching, thus this WW gig.   My cooperating teacher made them and they are SuperMoist white cupcakes with lemon icing.  The mix is made with egg whites instead of whole eggs and they are heavenly!  So moist and the lemon icing makes them taste just like summer. Speaking of my cooperating teacher, I am going to miss her and all of her "Oceans" friends so much when I start at my new school in the fall.  I don't know what I am going to do without them everyday, keeping it real and making me laugh in the hall in between classes. Shout out to the ladies in the C hall!


 Update on Fifty Shades.  There is no update.  I have not turned on my Sony Reader once to read it since my last post.

Finally, not only am I irritated by lack of food, but this picture taken from my own bathroom DEFINITELY does not help matters.


This is a regular occurrence at my household.  No one (besides me) can seem to take off the old roll and put the new roll on.  This occurs with all paper products from toilet paper to paper towels.  Ridiculous.  If this continues, I assure you that I will be on the new season of Snapped. 









Thursday, June 14, 2012

I have a confession to make....

I have a heroine problem!  A major one.  A couple of months ago while sharing my favorite books, movies, tv shows, etc with my friend (and mentor teacher) I discovered this about myself.  Let me explain further....

Bella from all of the Twilight books









Gag!  I couldn't stand her indecisiveness in the books and to be honest, her adoration for Edward.  I cannot stomach all the lovey-dovey stuff.  Watching the movies made me despise her character even more because I felt as though all I did was watch close ups of Kristen Stewart making the same blank face over and over and over again.  Mr. D's idea of watching a new release movie includes watching the illegally copied version that he bought from a friend of his (no doubt from the trunk of said friend's car) complete with babies crying  and people coughing in the theatre during these "excellent" copies, all in the comforts of your own home.  If you have no clue what I am talking about, let me tell you....you are missing out.  Therefore, it is a real treat when I can actually go to the theatre and watch a movie.  So, on the occasion of this rare treat, I DO NOT want to pay money to watch closeups of someone's facial expressions that NEVER change!

Okay, moving on.
Another example.....Katniss from Hunger Games







I loved the books more than life itself, but if I am being honest, Katniss got on my nerves MAJORLY with all the Peeta and Gale business.  Another example of indecisiveness.  Now, I have been indecisive before in my life, but I guess I have a problem with the indecisive behavior of females in literature.  Or maybe not with indecisiveness, but with what I view as wishy-washiness.

Continuing on.....
Sookie from True Blood





Drives me INSANE!  I cannot deal with her at all, and let's be honest....I watch PURELY for the men on the show.  Period.







And....Carrie from Sex and the City

 

Let's face it...I never forgave her for choosing Mr. Big instead of Aidan.  Bottom Line.

The point of this post is this....


I am currently reading book two.  I read book one in one day.  I thought it was hot and exciting.  I liked the bad boy in Mr. Grey.  Therefore, I couldn't wait to start book two.  With that being said, after beginning to read the second book, it has been a daily struggle for me to make myself continue to pick it up on a daily basis.  The steamy scenes make me yawn....same ole song and dance.  Plus, E L James committed my cardinal sin.....she added the lovey-dovey stuff and I want to puke daily.  There is only so much, "I love yous" and "You're so beautiful" that this girl can read without losing her lunch....and let's be honest here, since I'm on this Weight Watchers thing, I am desperate to keep down the little amount of food that I am allowed in a given day.  I also like a little bit of realism in my literature, and the fact that EVERY physical encounter that happens in the book results in the big "O" and of course, Ana and Christian almost always have their climaxing moments at the same time.  I mean give me a break.  Ana often is pushed to this "moment" just by having Christian mention her name.  No joke.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Mr. D, but I don't care how many times he may or may not say my name (first, middle, maiden, or last) it just plain is not going to happen from the mere sound of his voice stating the obvious.  Rather, I think that I would respond with "What?" instead of the explosion that Ana has throughout the book.  So, yet another problem with a female in literature.  I am going to continue to push through and finish this book, and trilogy for that matter, even if it takes me all summer.  Not because I am interested at this point, but because I am too stubborn and hard headed to quit.

Any advice for the heroine problem?  Is it possible to dislike women, when I am one?  Ha!


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Guilty as charged....

So, I'm down 5.2 lbs this week.  To celebrate, I went to Chuy's and ate so much creamy jalapeno dip that I should have just asked for a straw.  For real.
 
Now, I feel guilty as hell and will go to the gym in the morning before work and torture myself until all of said guilt and creamy jalapeno dip is dripping out of my pores in the form of sweat.  Oh, the life of a woman. Men don't feel guilt about food or punish themselves with painful exercising.  They also have NEVER laid down on the bed to button a pair of jeans, squeezed their piggies into a pair of fabulous shoes that may be a size too small, or had hair ripped out by the root from their legs, hoo-ha, and various places on the face, chin, and neck depending on where random hairs may pop up due to one's hormonal state at any given moment.  They proudly walk around with their beer bellies poking out and it doesn't bother them one bit that many of them have not seen their "special friend" in decades.  The proper term for this is "dickdo."  Look it up in the urban dictionary and consider yourself educated.

Speaking of guilty pleasures.....Sunday is the season premiere of one of my favs:




Have Mercy!!!!

True Blood starts back this Sunday and I cannot wait!!!  I don't even care if the story line sucks...I just watch for the eye candy, because basically it's the only candy I can have these days. Eric Northman is SO bad, and since I am partial to the bad ones....I double heart love everything about him.
Speaking of bad boys...Mr. D is cheap.  He does not generally like to spend money.  This comes from his "bad boy" upbringing, which consisted of eating what he considers a delicacy, refried bean sandwiches on white bread.  No joke.  Anyway, if Mr. D gets a bug up his rear before Sunday and decides that he no longer wants to shell out $10.00 extra a month for HBO and cancels it, I will go Lorena Bobbit on him....it's that serious!


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Baby Talk....


So, the last 48 hours have been full of fun for all.
Yesterday at the PC, we caught a shoplifter who was stealing this


Hello Kitty Balloon Dreams Cups 8ctAND this


Uglydoll Erasers 12ct




FOR REAL. Seriously? It's about $14.00 worth of merchandise. And....at the PC we don't take kindly to shoplifters, so we pretty much tackle them before they can leave.  I kid. Kinda.
Long story short, I was able to recover most of the stolen merchandise.  However, when kindly grabbing for her purse to recover said merchandise, I ripped the handle off the worst knockoff bag that I've ever seen.  So, I figure we are even.  She tried to get away with $14.00 of my merchandise and I broke her purse which was worth approximately the same amount.  Just a public service announcement:  If you call Metro 911, you will get officers about 30 minutes later, and they will go to the Target next door instead of the location of the crime.  True story.

Needless to say, today I had a much deserved day off after yesterday's drama.   I went for a 2 mile power walk with my mother followed by pool time and lunch at my favorite place ever, Chick Fil A.  I got a little color, which is a success because it officially takes me out of the vampire category.  Not so much of a success was the "baby talk" that I had with my mother while power walking.  I should have just shut my mouth and concentrated on trying to breathe while finishing the first mile.  I am a recent ex-smoker, so give me a break...I'm not thinking clearly. Anyway, I brought up that Mr. D and I were currently planning our last big vacation for next summer before we try to start having a baby.  With the first year of my big girl teaching job starting this fall, I did not think that it was smart to try to also have my first child during what I am sure will be an often overwhelming time in my life.  I mentioned this to my mother, as well as wanting to relax next summer after my first year and that I would like that summer to be full of nothing but relaxing and enjoying doing nothing for a couple of months, and not full of sleepless nights, diaper changing, and toddler chasing.  I just want to fully enjoy next summer in that way.  I know that after I have a baby, I will enjoy things in a completely different way, but I also know that after having a baby, I will not have the silence that I so treasure for at least another 18 years.  My mother is desperate for her first grandchild and did not take kindly to this info.  She said:
"Well what the heck, why don't you just go ahead and wait until you're in your mid forties to have a baby!" (I am currently 36). 
and when I told her about wanting to have next summer to unwind after my first year, she said "Do you know the definition of 'sacrifice'?" (Of which I SO wanted to say, "No mother, actually I have no idea what the definition is....can you believe I am going to become an English teacher when I have such a LIMITED vocabulary!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  But.... I didn't say anything because I am an angel sent straight down from the Lord above.
If there has EVER been a day when I have EARNED a cigarette AND a hot fudge sundae from Sonic, it was today.  I had neither.  The  "good" Mrs. D on my right shoulder said that having neither means that I am going to live a long life as a skinny person.   I slapped that thing off my shoulder like it was a mosquito.

So, question.........Is wanting to have one last child free summer selfish of me? 







Thursday, May 31, 2012

I am fiending...

I have a confession to make.....I am a smoker.  Or rather I WAS a smoker until my birthday last Tuesday, May 22st.  I had my last super tasty cigarette that Monday night at approximately 9:45pm.  It was an otherwise uneventful day. 
Let me elaborate.  I never was a heavy smoker.  I smoked about 4-5 cigs a day, so a pack lasted me anywhere from 4-5 days.  I decided to quit cold turkey on my birthday because hell, it seemed just as good as a day as any other.  Upon hearing that I quit, my husband, who smoked about a pack a day for the last 18 years also decided to quit.  He is also working out daily and eating healthy.  He has been taken over by aliens apparently.

I had no idea that he was quitting until I called him a week or so ago and here's a direct transcript of the conversation:
Mr D:  (in a voice not unlike people that are possessed) "I just got a $75 ticket for not wearing my seatbelt, plus I'm not smoking anymore so I'm just really pissed off."
Me:  "Oh, I didn't know that you quit smoking?!"
Mr D:  "WELL, THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS WHEN YOU DON'T BUY ANYMORE CIGARETTES AT THE STORE."
Me: (in my most patient voice EVER) "I'm sorry....I didn't know that you hadn't bought anymore...."
Mr. D:  "WELL, THAT'S WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!" (said with the tone as if "I" am the idiot that cannot read his mind...."

Needless to say, I got off the phone QUICKLY.

Quitting has been relatively easy for me, except for today.  I found myself becoming really anxious about something and actually had to talk myself out of trying to smoke old butts out of the ash tray outside that the stray neighborhood cats have probably since used as a litter box.

Reminded me of this clip....minus the cheesy song and message at the end. blah.

I am proud to say that I am still smoke free....for now. 
Just to recap my life.  In the past several weeks, I have had the bladder infection from hell, I no longer enjoy food because of the diet, and I no longer get to enjoy cigarettes.  I am convinced that one of two things is happening...

1.  I am being punished by God for reading and immensely enjoying Fifty Shades of Grey.
or
2.  This is the boring life of people that are actually healthy and fit (minus the bladder infection, of course).  That, I am sure, I received from WAY too much "Gray" time with Mr.D.  My body is clearly rejecting the "twice in one week" experience that Mr. D enjoyed with much incredulity.  

Monday, May 21, 2012

Quickie....



Just a quick post.  Tomorrow is my birthday and several weeks ago, I made one of the best decisions of my life.  I started a Pinterest board titled "Birthday List."  I decided to do this so that Mr. D would have less anxiety ridden nights deciding on the perfect birthday/Christmas/anniversary gift for me.  So, it worked like a charm.  Mr. D gave me my gifts last night since he has to work on my actual birthday.  I received an iTunes gift card, a Visa gift card, a gift card to one of my favorite places in the whole wide world...Firehouse Subs, a Hungry Girl cookbook, and this beauty right here....


Magnification Mirror


This jewel is from Bed Bath and Beyond and provides fluorescent lighting with 8x magnification.  Mr. D told me that this mirror should last me for the rest of my life, which in his terminology means that he spent a lot of money on it.  That and he "accidentally" left the price tag on it.  Whatever.
Lord Have Mercy.  One look into this baby and you will be convinced that your face is covered with nothing but long hair and that your ancestors MUST be Sasquatches and that your pores closely resemble this.....




 Your friendly neighborhood pothole.  I was AMAZED at everything that I could see in this mirror:  the potholes, the hair, the sun damage.  After 10 minutes, I was convinced that I was the most unattractive human on the planet.

But oh,  this mirror is a plucker's DEEEE-LITE.....
So, if you need me for the next couple of hours before I have to be at the PC, you can find me in front of this baby plucking away any hairs that look at me the wrong way!

Hopefully I won't become overly obsessed and pluck all of my eyebrow hairs off and be FORCED, like this lady, to tattoo pics of my cats where my eyebrows used to be.




 YIKES!







 

Sunday, May 20, 2012

I'm seeing red.....

I am exhausted.  I don't know what the deal is, but I feel as though I don't have the energy to do much besides work 40 plus hour weeks at the PC and come home and go to bed.  I am also thankful that I only have about 2 months left before I start my new big girl job, because I am starting to want to choke certain people.  It seems like every day I am faced with LOADS of things on the to do list and an equal amount of employees who don't want to do anything but collect a paycheck in which they haven't earned a dime for. 
Rewind to yesterday after work.....
I get home...take a nap....wake up to the most wonderful news that I've had all week.....It's Taco Night!  Praise the Lord.....now I can drown my sorrows and frustrations from work with massive amounts of taco meat, cheese, and sour cream.  We sit down as a family, eat, and watch TV.  Mr. D is watching (which means we all must watch) a show called "Storage Wars"  that focuses on how men, with obviously too much time and money, bid on storage units based on viewing what is inside from the entrance to the storage unit without the benefit of going in to peruse the situation.  Whew.  Now, on to a curious find for one of the men from the show. 






Does anyone know what these are? 












They are for chickens....duh!  So apparently, when chickens see "red" on their fellow chickens, they will peck them to death.  So, the point is to have the chickens wear these glasses all the time because it decreases their aggressive tendencies. 

Craziest thing that I've ever heard and what's even crazier.....who would have thought that I would have learned something from watching one of Mr. D's dumb man shows???!!!

So I got to thinking......

If you need me today, I can be found at the PC walking around wearing a pair of these....


It's truly the ONLY way to ensure the safety of my employees from their manager who must listen to true comments such as these:
(After employee is 10 minutes late WITHOUT calling or giving any excuse whatsoever...much attitude is given by said employee to the most understanding and coolest manager in the whole wide world when she asks him to start on a certain project) "I don't like being told that I need to do something the first 15-20 minutes after I walk through the door....."

Lord Jesus.....help me not to kill anyone today.  Amen.  

















Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Epic fail.

Please disregard the prior post....I have done none of the aforementioned.  That's right, no gym, no dishes, no laundry, no tanning, and definitely no weight watchers meeting.

I have sat in the same spot for the last six hours on my fat arse doing one thing and ONLY one thing....


So, while my dishes and clothes remained unwashed, my butt grew by the minute, and my flowers were outside dying because I haven't watered them today.....you could find me inside reading this little beauty.
My girlfriends are RAVING about it as well as several of the bloggers that I follow, so I decided this afternoon to order it on my Sony Reader.  God forbid that I actually leave the house today to do anything productive like go to an actual bookstore and buy the book.  
Needless to say, six hours later....I am hooked. The English teacher snob in me thinks that it is literary garbage without a significant deeper purpose or meaning within the pages. I felt a slight tinge of guilt that one of my minors was Women's Studies and that my old professors would burn my diploma and probably me "Salem Witch style" if they ever knew that I was reading this book. However, I cannot help it and I must admit that it is H-O-T!  "Have mercy" kind of hot.  I'm not even normally into romance or erotic books....but this is a must read.  I'm only about a third of the way through the book, but I literally cannot put it down. 
****CAUTION***** Any fitness goals, household chores, appointments, and just plain leaving the confines of your house will totally fly out the window until you have finished this book...and I can assume the whole trilogy. 
Happy reading! ;-)

Praise the Lord for days off!



So, I finally have a day off from work where I may get to do things BESIDES laundry, dishes, etc.  Now, don't get me wrong...I will be doing those two things today, but only one load of each.  Thank God!  I was supposed to begin my morning with a personal trainer at 10am and I was a no show slacker.  Pitiful.  I will redeem myself by hitting the gym alone in a couple of hours, unless I can rouse the sleeping bear and have him go with me before he has to be at work.  However, I'd be shocked if it wasn't a solo visit.  So far, I have accomplished catching up on Grimm and The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  That's it.  Nothing else but watching TV.  I feel like a tired, lazy slob. 

My agenda for today:
Gym







Lord Help!



Housework


Never ends!



Spray Tan
 

and announcing my newest mission.....

I'm beginning Weight Watchers again, so I will attend my first meeting and weigh in tonight.  I struggled with wanting to share this but I thought, why not.....
It's worked for me before and I only seem to gain weight when I quit the program because I think that I can do it on my own.  I've gained approximately 14 lbs since I was married last August and it has GOT TO GO!  I worried about sharing in case I fail at this, but since I am using this blog as a sort of journal to keep my sanity, I thought it counter productive to keep it to myself.
I'll be honest....I hate having to keep up with what I put in my mouth, but I obviously am not capable of keeping myself in check. I also despise the gym and everything that I do inside that horrendous building.  I equally despise admitting that I have failed, and sharing that I am back on the Weight Watchers program is basically admitting that I failed on my own.  I am an old athlete that cannot believe that I have gotten old and out of shape.  So, I will face the scale tonight....Hopefully it will be kinder than I expect it to be. 
 
On a more positive note, I am having baby fever again.  We will see how long it lasts this time.  I'm betting five minutes.





Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Reality TV Wrap-up

Since student teaching is O-V-E-R....I have been catching up on my DVR, which is full of massive amounts of reality TV.  It is mind numbing and a no brainer, which makes it perfect for winding down and relaxing.  So, my FAVS at this moment are The Real Housewives of New Jersey and The Voice.
My favorite on The Voice is Jamar Rogers.  He was booted last week, but he is INCREDIBLE!
Watch this:
Such passion and emotion.  He has AIDS and this song is PERFECT for him.  It's a reminder for all of us how to live our lives every moment of every day.  I double heart love him.
To be honest, the fact that a certain person is a coach on The Voice doesn't hurt either.

Lord have mercy!  

Anyway, tonight is the finals on The Voice and I really do not care who wins, just as long as it's not Christina's team.  Her team member sings well and all...however his coach is a witch and makes really cutting and inappropriate remarks to the other contestants that aren't on her team. Then she follows it with, "Well, I'm just being honest..."
Now, I ask you, how can someone with these fashion choices on the show judge anyone???
AND if we are being "honest".....well then, judge for yourself the following:
I assure you that these are not photo shopped because I witnessed these outfits live on TV. 

Moving on.  My true guilty pleasure and vice of sorts is the show The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Each of the five cast members is a family member of at least one other cast member on the show.  Therefore, it is family drama at its best.  Jealousy, lying, competitiveness, hurt feelings, cattiness, and spray tans galore.  It's actually not quite unlike certain aspects of my own family.  Someone's always on the "outs."  Someone's feelings are always hurt and if you catch us in July, our tans are poppin!
Check out the show....you will be AMAZED at how crazy and how eerily familiar it seems.
On a final note, I received a phone call this morning and received the news that I am now "OFFICIAL" in the school system that I will be working for in the fall.  Great news on an otherwise pretty "blah" day.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Impressive....

Good Morning!
Today I start the first of many, many days this summer working at the PC until my big girl job starts in August.  To celebrate this momentous occasion, I ate a bowl of cereal the size of my bathtub.  Literally.  It was impressive how many fruit loops I could cram into the ginormous bowl, which actually was not a cereal bowl but rather a mixing bowl.  You get the picture.  So, already my stress eating has started.  Yay.  Seriously, I need to get into shape.  I know that I am getting a little too fleshy when I smile and it looks like I am storing nuts for the winter in my cheeks.
So, instead of any weight gain going to my rear so that I could look more like this....

It all goes to my face and I look like this...

Minus the cuteness, of course.
Sigh....so now that student teaching is over, I must take drastic measures and rejoin the gym this week and start tracking what I shovel into this mouth.
I think that I will wait until Friday.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

And another thing....

Obviously I am already addicted to this blog thing as I have yet to get out of my pjs and head to the grocery.  Yes, it is 11am. Don't judge.
I thought I would explain why my display name is "The Skipper."  It is because I am a control freak, plain and simple.  I am the captain of this ship and like to be in control of where it goes and when.  I try very hard to give control over to the Lord, like I am supposed to do.  Suffice it to say, this is a work in progress because I am crazy.
Case in point, last night Mr. D (who hilariously thinks he is "The Skipper" of this family) had a bunch of his friends over for the fight.  I had to work at the PC from 12 until close and would not be here to make sure that the food that I slaved over was presented correctly and that some of the shadier characters did not find their way up the stairs into my jewelry box.  I kid....maybe.
Anyway, Mr. D and I had a epic battle before I left for work because I was trying to explain to him in the nicest way possible how I wanted the food displayed and which serving utensil he should use, followed by a lecture on not getting too distracted by the boxing match as to become negligent in his quest (assigned by me) to make sure that all of his friends used a coaster.  He has never been as happy as he was when I finally left for work...and he did not hesitate to tell me so.  So, you see, I'm crazy neurotic about perfection or at least faking it when we have guests over, even if it is ten of his smelly men friends whose favorite chef is Chef Boyardee.  I am trying to improve upon this, one teeny tiny step at a time.
Since I am spilling my guts, I am also addicted to all things home related.  My true weakness is china and wall decor.  I have four sets of china and if there is a bare spot on the wall, I literally dream about that spot until something is hung there.  True story.  I'm sure that there is medication for this; however, I am too busy spending money on new pieces of china to afford a prescription.  Ha!

New beginnings....

I'm  beginning this blog with the hopes that it will keep me from losing my mind....ha.  No really, I'm starting a new career in the fall that I've worked a long time to achieve.  My hope is that the kids don't make me lose my mind and that I only cry in the parking lot after school a max of one time every couple of weeks and that it is not in front of my principal or any fellow coworkers.

Now, on to the mundane. 
Today is Sunday and my fleshy butt should be in church.  Instead, I am sitting uncomfortably in my recliner so not to disturb the cat beside me that is sleeping.  Who's house is this?  Well, the fact that I am sitting like a contortionist should give you the obvious answer. Duh.
Since I am not working at the PC (shocking.) I am catching up on all the blogs that I follow, wondering why I follow as many as I do.  I seem to have little in common with many of the blogs or their authors. I do not live in a ginormous house, nor am I a stay at home mom with a seemingly endless amount of money to spend and trips to take.  For that matter, I am not a "mom" at all....unless you count that I am a mother of sorts to two cats and an evil stepmother to one thirteen year old.  So, why do I follow one's blog when I am neither "tidy" nor a "mom"?  Well, I have high hopes that one day I will have the opportunity to live a seemingly perfect life complete with a massive house, gorgeous children, unlimited amounts of money to shop and travel, and an equally unlimited amount of time search for hidden treasures and craft my heart out.  And when that day happens, I will need to refer to the above mentioned blogs for guidance.

Until then, I will spend my summer trying not to lose my mind working at the PC before my big girl job begins in August.  I will also be partaking in two of my favorite things:  reading and sun worshiping...one of which will have me looking on the outside one day what I already feel currently on the inside....80 years old.

Since today is Sunday and we have Sunday dinner every Sunday night, I guess I'll peel myself out of this recliner and go to Publix for the ingredients for my homemade spaghetti and meatballs.  Now, how do I get out of the chair without disturbing the sleeping cat on the foot rest?

Toot-a-loo!